Finding Your Fit

Farley nestles next to Kathy like a clingy toddler. He’s a brown, miniature bull terrier, a puppy. His dark, triangular eyes peer at me suspiciously.

“He’s still getting used to everything,” Kathy says of her skittish companion. “I should have warned you not to wear black.”

I flop into a chair across from her. I’ve come to visit an old colleague. Kathy and I worked together many years ago. A chance encounter in a local library a few weeks ago has brought me here to a bright, west-end apartment for a cup of tea and a conversation.

“Are you working?” she asks. Her blonde hair is as curly as I remember it.

After more than a decade of helping organizations develop their people to communicate better internally and externally, I am in the midst of figuring out my next move.

I shake my head. “Freelancing. Tweeting mostly.”

The kettle whistles. She taps on a mess of pictures on her fridge door as she heads into the kitchen. “You see these?” Farley hops off the couch to follow her.

I glance at the arty vacation pictures of arches and domes. “Rome. Cool.”

“Best three months of my life,” she sings back.

“Three months! How’d you manage that?”

“With the support of a loving husband and a yearning for self-discovery.”

A tray of tea and cookies arrive.

“And I quit my job,” she smiles. “Cookies? I even have time to bake these days.”

18-Year Career

For 18 years, Kathy worked hard to build a successful career at a big bank, managing various software implementation projects for high-profile clients. It meant long hours at the office and very little time for a social life, but she was happy.

“I knew what I was doing was having a direct impact on the company’s business success and that was very satisfying,” she says looking back at her career.

But things changed when a new manager was hired to take charge of her team.

“What was so different about this boss?” I ask.

Impersonal and autocratic, the new manager had a penchant for micromanaging and that soon began to have an impact on Kathy’s self-esteem.

“My opinion didn’t seem the matter anymore. I stopped receiving acknowledgment or feedback,” says Kathy.

Suddenly, all the expertise Kathy had acquired over the years and the trust she had worked so hard to earn were worthless.

“I began to doubt my abilities,” she recalls. “I became discouraged and afraid. I stopped offering ideas.”

From Bad to Worse

For months, Kathy tried to rationalize the emotions she was grappling with. Maybe I should give the manager more time to adjust to the team, she thought. Maybe I should give myself more time to adjust to him.

As she grew more anxious and short-tempered, her family bore the brunt of her frustration.

“I had so little control over what I did at work,” says Kathy. “At home, I became sensitive to the things I could control, and I took it out on my family.”

Weekends, once a time to unwind and enjoy with the family, became a harbinger of the coming work week. I could see her face change as she thinks back.

“Sunday’s were the worst,” Kathy shudders. “The thought of going back into the office the next day filled me with dread.”

A Difficult Decision

After 9 months of working with the new manager, Kathy made the difficult decision to resign.

“Did you ever talk to management about the situation?” I ask.

“Upper management was more interested in protecting themselves and didn’t want to deal with the issue,” her voice breaks slightly. “They left me no choice.”

With the encouragement of her husband, Kathy decided that the substantial paycheque she was bringing home was not worth the insomnia, the anger, and the unhappiness.

“That day I submitted my resignation, it felt like a great weight was lifted off my chest. “

It Wasn’t the Right Fit

Polls, such as this one, suggest that half of Canadians are unhappy with their job. A majority of respondents cite fit with company and employers as essential to contentment and success.

But what is meant by “fit”? Is it a company’s culture? Is it management style?

Is it how well a company understands and meets the psychological and motivational needs of their employees?

What Motivates You?

One theory says that people are driven by extrinsic and intrinsic motivations.

Extrinsic motivations such as pay increases, bonuses, and titles motivate some employees but their effect is temporary — the proverbial dangling carrot.

Long-term employee engagement and happiness is achieved only when intrinsic motivations — the need for competence, autonomy, and relatedness — are met.

I ask Kathy if she thinks this played a part in her dissatisfaction.

“Absolutely. My manager was not meeting any of my motivational needs,” she explains. “He had little respect for what I had to bring to the table, and he wouldn’t give me the authority to succeed at my job. When he took those things away from me, I no longer felt connected to the team or the success of the business.”

Organizations that hire or promote employees to lead teams without properly equipping them with the skills and the understanding of how to keep employees engaged risk losing smart and passionate employees like Kathy.

Not everyone has the courage or financial wherewithal to do what Kathy did. Does she regret it?

“No regrets,” she assures me.

“So what are you going to do now?” I ask.

She shrugs. “Whatever it is, I am going to make sure that my next job is dog-friendly,” she says as Farley nuzzles her face. “What about you?”

Kathy’s story is a strong reminder of the importance of fit. Identifying the right fit isn’t always easy and it can also change as the people in charge change.

“I’m still figuring that out,” I reply. “I have learned a lot about what I value in a company, and what I bring and I hope I find a place where those things come together.”